I’m bored, horny, and EMBELLISH in austin texas is a piece of shit! (and other random thoughts)

vicodin1

*how the hell did i wake up in time to get here this morning, shower, get dressed (not the best outfit of the century), manage to hide my alcohol breath and not puke? looks like it’s gonna be a good day.

patsy

*i am currently eating salt out of the packet. too bad i dont have anything to put it on. im not really hungry, just bored.

*i love reading texts from last night, it’s comforting to know that many people in a productive society like to drink, fuck, and get high just as much as i do.

*speaking of fuck, i’m kind of horny right now. not ravenous, but it may get to that point by the time i get home. watch out daddy. (i am not about to search for an image here at work, that guy that previously occupied the office next to mine got fired for watching the porn while on the clock.  but, he also got is masters, so – he wins)

*i went to get a service at this local shit hole, called EMBELLISH (that’s right, if you deserve it, imma drag your fuckin name through the dirt) and they fucked up big time. the appointment was @ 5pm or something like that. first of all, the salon/spa (whatever and hardly) is in this atrocious strip mall/multi use development thing near campus called “the triangle”. if you are from boca raton, it will look familiar. second of all, it’s always packed with a bunch of fuckin snotty little asshole college bitches and it’s impossible to find a parking spot. so….i get there at like 5:03 and they call me on my cell phone while i am walking through the front door threatening to give my appt away bc the next client is there. are you fucking kidding me i am thinking to myself. you just fucked with the wrong bitch. so, i get into the aesthetician’s chair and asked what the hell was up that lady’s ass at the front desk. she says it’s been a long day and she was upset that i was late. (the aesthetician by the way was very sweet and did quality work – it’s apparent she needs to find a new location) So, a ten minute procedure turned into “I’m never going back to that joint and I am going to spend the rest of my life on this planet letting everyone know what a giant jack off it is.  so, hey Embellish…suck my dick!  (it’s the tall cunt in the brown shirt that mis-treated me so – if you see her in a dark alley, kick her fuckin ass)

*Can you believe that this person is trying to sell this god damn, countrified, old as shit bar stool on craigslist for $125? Yeah, me either. That’s why I emailed her. I suggested that she reconsider her pricing strategy. Just bein helpful, I’m good like that.

*my hangover is starting to kick in. it’s a good thing i have an appointment to see the best doctor on this planet. he believes in vicodin, and i believe in him!

incognito and jedi style,

GBJ

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