US Government donates $181,406 in cocaine to….QUAILS? WTF!

Silly mouse, cocaine is for QUAILS, duh!

That’s right.  Rather than curing cancer, bottling unicorn serum, sending search teams to find the next double rainbow, or burning every Princess Bride movie that still exists, our government is paying people to research the effects of cocaine on a quail’s sex drive.

All the while, I know people who would have done it for free!  Thank you, government, I am so thankful you are putting my tax dollars toward a cause that will benefit me some day.

And, while we are on the topic (so it doesn’t seem so naughty and taboo):

90% of all US currency bills have cocaine residue on them…but wait, I thought that was just little Johnny’s ADD acting up again!

Common Street Names:  Coke, Dust, Toot, Line, Nose Candy, Snow. Sneeze, Powder, Girl, White Pony, Flake, C, The Lady, Cain, Neurocain, Rock, Crack

It’s true – at one time cocaine was an ingredient in Coca-Cola

GGOOOOAAAAL – Columbian’s (go figure) were caught making World Cup replicas out of the white stuff…hrrmmmmmm


This is so much fun I wish I didn’t have to stop, but it’s about time to head home!

However, kids, if you’re ever in the bathroom and feel the urge to get a little high, DON’T ask for a toot.  Ok?  This will just make you look like a nerd, I promise.

Happy quails to you,


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