First and foremost, sometimes when I am at work and I feel like I need a little break, I will turn to Post Secret…Some days it makes me smile, and other days, like today, it just makes me cry. It makes me realize how much sadness, hurt, and heavy hearts walk around me everyday. I keep reading, it makes me want to be a better person. When I was in high school there was a kid that sat next to me for two years in Latin…not many people take Latin, so it wasn’t unusual that all four years contained basically the same students…anyways, my sophmore year, his junior year – i had the biggest crush on him. I looked at him one day (it was Halloween) in class and he just seemed like something was bothering him. I remember wanting to just say hello, but I was too shy. There was a big party that night. The next morning I got to class, everyone was in tears, I looked at his desk and he was not there. He shot himself after the party the night before. I know that it’s not my fault that he did that, but to think that I saw something in him…I could tell that he was hurting…and I did nothing. It was a lesson for a lot of people in many different ways. I learned that next time I sense someone is sad and lost, I will reach out.
A friend of mine emailed me today to congratulate me on my recent engagement. He said, “Well, if your man is as seemingly as irrepressible as you are, then I am sure you make a dynamic duo”. What the fuck is that supposed to mean? I am a busy person, yes, I like to get my party on, yes, but I am also a responsible human being. I work 40 hours a week, I am in grad school, I make sure there is money in the bank and that the bills get paid and the cats get fed….and on and on and on. No, I don’t like it when someone tells me what to do, and if they do I will most often not do what they say, or do the opposite of what they tell me to do, because there is only one person that has control of me. ME! What a novel concept. Live your life, be a good person, repsect and love the people around you, and follow your own heart and head. To have control of yourself is the ultimate freedom.
Finally, there is a food here in town that I am famous for having a serious addiction to…The Chicken Cone. It used to be that you could only get the chicken cone at a local music festival, but a couple of years ago, the owners of the restaurant that brought it to the festival (but left it off their original menu) decided to open up a food trailer in town that woudl be open year round. Perfect, I did not have to wait until ACL to get a chicken cone…I could go everyday all day long if I wanted to. Well, I went once, and had the avocado cone – it was fabulous as usual. Today, however, I went with a co-worker for lunch and it was totally fuckin nasty! I got the “oragnic veggie slider” – shit, sounds delish, no? Sadly, and I put my heart into the word “sadly”, it tasted like I had just bitten off a chunk of freezer burn on a bun. Awful! I hope that this was an isolated incident, but I do know that it will be a while before I can force myself to go back. And next time I do, I will most assuredly be ordering the hot and crunchy avocado cone.
