Bossa*Nova in Austin, Texas has made the boycott list!

Oh shit, you guys know that I hate doing this kind of stuff, but I did email the owner to try and kiss and make up, and I have received no response, which leads me to believe that he could give a fuck about making his customers happy. Join the club, buddy. The feeling is mutual, I could give a fuck about your shit food!

So, the place is Bossa*Nova in Austin, Texas…Here is the address. You can even download a copy of their painfully disgusting menu…Please, take a look at what you are not missing!

First of all, there is this big giant douche bag that works the counter. He wears sunglasses inside and a fucking tire chain around his neck. Catch my drift? I think he is a little pissed that he has to be there when he could be rocking out somewhere instead, but that ain’t my problem, yo…

So, I called once to get a takeout order. Easy, two drinks and two sandwiches w/ soup. Shit hit the fan as soon as he answered the phone. He apparently was asking me for my name, but I had preceeded to order. This was totally NOT OK w/ him. He just kept yelling “NO” at me when I would start to order. I am sorry that I did not follow your rules, dude, but it has been a long time since I have worked in the food industry, and besides, it would not have been that big of a damn deal had I given you my name at the end of the conversation. I get it, I would not want to work a sandwich shop either…

So, one of my sammies were to be sans mayo, not mine cuz I love the shit, and so on. Anyways, I get there to pick up the order and he argued with me that I only told him I wanted one drink. Right, no big deal. Charge me for another fucking bottled drink and let me get the fuck out of here. So…I paid, and while my card was running I was looking in the dessert case and saw a yummy cupcake that I needed to have. When I asked if I could add that on to my order, he says “NO”. AGAIN…I could have paid cash or whatever, but he actually told me that I could not have it. (note: I ended up getting the cupcake b/c as it turns out he had to re-run my card to charge me for the drink that I ordered that he FORGOT about)…So, it all worked out in the end…Until I get home and there is only one mother fucking sandwich in the bag and it has mayo oozing out the sides all over the place. Now, while I love me some mayo, I DETEST IT WHEN IT’S HOT and oily and spilling out every inch of the creation. It was so gross that I don’t even remember what the sandwich was supposed to be…not good. I ordered the corn chowder which I would normally love more than life itself, but this shit is like skim milk topped off w/ a shot of canola oil. It’s fucking gross.

So, at this point, I am so aggro that I don’t even bother to eat that mother fucker’s precious cupcake…

To the defense of the owners, the douche bag counter guy is not the owner, they are very friendly and helpful, however, that does not hold a candle when your food taste like semen and the guy serving it to me is a big fucking pussy.

Instead of ever going here, I suggest trying Hot Mama’s (and yes, there are some major hot mama’s working here) for your coffee and Baby Greens for your healthy food!

ps, for all of you true Austin-ites, Hot Mama’s food is prepared in coordination w/ the Ararat staff. That’s right, THE ararat, circa 2006. yummers!

Bon Apetite, bitches!

1 thought on “Bossa*Nova in Austin, Texas has made the boycott list!”

  1. Tell ’em like it is. Don’t fuck w/ Ms. Begnaud. She will rip you a new Bossa Nova hole. That place sucks Donkey Flaps.

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