There’s a new (piece of shit) restaurant in town!!!!

simplicityoy vei!  this place is one hot mess!  i have been waiting for a really long time to post about it because i felt really bad about what is about to go down in this post…sorry, simplicity, but you deserve it…  🙁

me and my girl went there a little bit ago to check it out.  i had noticed it pop up in the hood, and i like to check out new frontiers…even if to merely mock them.  all the better.

concept is stellar, for the most part.  a fabulous selection of spanish and argentian wines (besos), and tapas that all ring in under $4.  sounds pretty right on, yeah?  so, we order – all tapas are served in 3-4 oz servings…which is enough for two to share – a few testers and get down to business.  the garbanzo bean thing?  NASTY.  it was cold.  the cheese plate?  yeah, anytime you set a piece of manchego in front of my pie hole, i’ll swoon.  however…everything was served on paper plates, with paper spoons (like those that come with the trial size blue bell things), and the presentation was simply atrocious at best.  i had to ask the wait person what the hell was up and she informed me that they use “corn” based plates and eating-ware as to conserve water (from not doing dishes) and therefore substantialize on the name “simplicity”.  i was semi beside myself.  i love the idea, but it’s simply not what i expect when i spend $50 on tapas and wine.  also, i began to think after we left…my wine glass was glass, and it needs to be washed.  does it not get washed?  not sure.  if you dare to go there after this post…please ask them and let me know.

simplicity…i tried to like you.  i tried to embrace you.  i really did.  you lost the battle…fair and square.

with a sad (but very green) heart,

GBJ

ps, on a lighter note: me and some homies are gonna try JUSTINE’S on wednesday.  a new little french bistro that opened up on the east side.  the menu looks heavenly, with an atmosphere to boot.  i’ll let you know how it goes.

here, look…yum, huh?  Justine‘s

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